Vow renewal:

I know I am not married yet, but I still wonder why people renew their vows after they have promised to love each other forever already once.

This is said to be done time after the original wedding when couples chose to stay together. (This makes sense if you think about how marriages were arranged most of the time.)

In modern day, couples renew vows at certain time marks such as 5, 10, 20,25, or 50 years of marriage or after a hard problem they recently faced that made them stronger, and by which they are willing to promise love to one another all over again.

So romantic. *sigh*

Why shall I have a first dance?

This is just a way to be courteous, as much as that crushes your sentimental reasoning.

In the early times of balls, the dance would be open by any member of royalty, if present or by the guest of honor, which in weddings happen to be the newlyweds.

Although it is a romantic way to begin the ceremony and that it touches guests’ hearts, the first dance is simply to get the dancing and the party started.

This is a tradition with little meaning behind it, yet one of the most popular today. I will also be having a first dance at my reception, because well, it’s my wedding.

Garter and bouquet toss?

Proof that humans have always been desperate and in love with the idea of sex.

In early times, it was expected for couples to go into a nearby room  and “close the deal” right after the ceremony. I don’t know why, but it was acceptable for guests to “view” such action. To prove this was happening, the men typically reached out for a piece of the bride’s intimate attire to show the rest of the guests, IT was to be done.

In some cultures, guests would even snatch  pieces of the bride’s dress as she left the church to “help” get her undressed, and it was also said that the pieces of her garments were to bring good marital fortune to whom possessed them.

I guess that we just took the savage out of this tradition and moved forward. The garter toss is basically to allow the groom up the bride’s dress, while the bouquet toss is supposed to bring marriage to the single lady who catches it.

This is definitely in my list.

Wedding registry for me?

Apparently “white” people send gifts as soon as you announce you are engaged. That’s cool. Us Hispanics  are lucky if your tia (aunt) Lupita shows up sober to the wedding.

I have read that for a gift registry, a bride should register in several stores, taking into consideration your guests’ budgets. And that for every 100 guests, a minimum of 125 items are supposed to be listed in order to give your guests “options”. AND THEN THE MAGIC HAPPENS: Gifts appear at your front door as if your fairy Godmother had swung her wand.

One should not use these gifts until after the wedding and should send thank you notes. Aww.

Like I said, I am hispanic with guests from actual Mexico and am not likely to have wedding registry. A couple of my guests will bring gifts such as house cleaning products, and others will drop off an envelope with some cash in it during the reception. Others will simply show up for the free food and booze, because that what we do as hispanics.

Why the games?

So my mother insists I should make two lines, one of men, and the other of women, and have them hold hands and run around the reception hall until one of the lines disintegrates… hmm all this while the groom and I stand in chairs, facing each other  while hold hands. Okay.. I have seen this done and I won’t lie, it is fun but what's the point?

Games in any party mean you, as a host, want to give your guests a pleasurable experience and make sure they are entertained.

In weddings, games are said to have been a way to have the two families meet each other for the first time. Games were icebreakers and woke the competitive spirit of each family name.  In many cultures this became a problem and games slowly faded away. Today only a couple are done in each wedding, merely for the fun of it and no other specific reason.

Watching someone fall in front of a crowd is always fun, right?

Why honeymoon?

This is pretty cute. If you are in love with what is at this point your husband/wife.

As back as the 1500s, couples were sent away to be alone and ease up the tension of realizing they were now stuck with each other, and to help relax them, you know, for the physical activities that they must endure.

These trips were mainly out to visit relatives who had not attended the wedding, as in some sort of obligation to now be known as a marriage to everyone they knew.

Couples can leave as soon as the wedding is over, or sometimes even a week later, depending on their culture.

In the 1800s, traveling became easier and people learned to make money off of tourists, so the idea of a honeymoon was blown out of proportion.

There is another explanation linked to the whole “easing of the couple” idea.  This is that it was and continued to be a belief by some, that the first month of marriage is the best. This because it is filled with passion, sweetness, tenderness, and pleasure. …. Of course, because a month is just enough time to start noticing that he leaves the toilet seat up and that she doesn’t shower on Sundays. lol

I guess this is simply just a “fun” experience for today’s newlyweds, especially the ones like Joel & I, that have lived together for a while before getting married.

Rice throw outside of church, what?

Why am I not surprised.

This was another ritual for good fortune.

So apparently the rice also symbolized prosperity and fertility, something every couple wishes for… anyway, rice lost its popularity in the early 1900s and oats, grains and even dried corn were used instead. This was because people believed that if the bride ate the rice thrown at her, it would dramatically expand in her stomach and she would DIE. Wow. I wonder how they come up with that assumption.

Thankfully, we have evolved as a society and have now opted for rose petals and even soap bubbles, that apparently represent the same thing, .. or do they?

Why do fathers walk bride’s down the aisle?

You thought right. It is simply a barbaric tradition that stayed from those old days where daughters were simply seen as a sort of monetary value.

Fathers would give away the bride either to pay off a debt, as a peace offering, or even to rise up the social ladder.

It is pretty f* up if you ask me, but today the meaning has changed almost completely.

Fathers are said to give away their daughters now as a symbol that they approve of their husband-to-be and that they wish them the best of fortunes.

Yeah, there will be some tears. #daddysgirl

Why do newlyweds smash a slice of cake onto each other’s faces?

It was hard to find a “real” reason for this tradition, but truth is both white and Hispanics do it.

Apparently the original version of this was the breaking of baked goods, (typically a loaf of bread) above the bride’s head by her groom. This showed the husband’s dominance and the crumbs that fell were to give good luck, yes.. this was also for good luck.

Eventually that ended and the couple would slice the cake and give one to each attendee, pretty normal, but wait.. The guests were NOT supposed to eat it, they were supposed to put it under their pillow for good luck, yes good luck again. this slice of cake was also to bring pleasant dreams to young ladies about their future husbands.

Yeah, I do not think I will waste perfectly good cake at my wedding. For me,  a little cake on my groom’s nose will suffice.

Also, I do not think this “good luck” thing would work in present time taking the high divorce rate into consideration.

Why wear something old, borrowed, new, and something Blue?

Recently I have heard that these four items are to express admiration for a couple of special people in a bride’s life. (Something Borrowed, and something “Old”).

This turns out to be another Victorian tradition, that simply recommends these items as good luck charms, and must not be certain items in specific. The bride has total control.

SOMETHNG…

OLD:  This is said to symbolize continuity and a link to the own bride’s past family weddings.

NEW: This represents the hopes for a bright and new future as a marriage.

BORROWED: This item must come from a “happily” married woman, in order for it to help bring some of her own marital happiness into the bride’s new life. this also means that there will always be somebody there when help is needed.

BLUE: Blue at one point was the color of purity, loyalty and faithfulness… need I explain more?

This is one tradition I am looking forward to because it just seems fun :)

Why have bridesmaids and groomsmen?

I am Hispanic, and in our Mexican weddings, there is typically only a maid of honor, most people don’t even have a best-man included in the ceremony. Taking this into consideration, I found it odd to see about 5 bridesmaids and groomsmen was “normal”... but what’s the point?

Today groomsmen  and bridesmaids are in charge of preparing a bachelor party, escorting each other, and assisting with typical wedding duties, but back in Ancient Rome, they had much more serious duties.

Romans were very superstitious and believed evil spirits lurked around at weddings hoping to target their malice i=onto the new couple. To confuse these spirits or demons, 10 bridesmaids were to dress exactly like the bride and 10 groomsmen as the groom.

These were typically close friends or family of the couple. Why was 10 the magical number, you ask.. well because these were the witnesses necessary for the wedding to take place.

I may add groomsmen actually accompanied the bride, this because they would “protect” her from thieves and gazing eyes.

In modern time and during the past centuries, these honored guests typically must have showed support for the bond between the upcoming marriage to gain such spot in the wedding party.

Cool. but my bridesmaids will definitely not be dressing exactly like me.

Why carry a bouquet of flowers?

So in the early years, people believed rubbing garlic on your body would prevent diseases. and cure souls. Brides were no different, especially because it was said to help with fertility, something a bride should have in her mind.

The problem was that garlic, as much as it helped scaring evil spirits away, did not have a pleasant odor.

Someone along the way had the idea to embroider wedding gowns, wheat and ivy and have brides carry a bouquet of flowers with strong aromas so that they could be a little ore sweet smelling.

Cool fact is that when dresses were embroidered with wheat or ivy, brides took it after the wedding and planted it, so they could give bits of it to their daughters when it was their turn to marry.

Why wear a veil and train?

So this is my favorite finding so far.

Really romantic lol

The veil: Originally it was called a “flammeum” and looked like flames, yup, orange, brown and red & covered brides from head to toes.

Romans believed it would scare away evil spirits by making brides look as if they were “on fire”.

What's funny is that grooms would see them this way walking down the aisle, until the ceremony began and they were able to see their bride’s face, sometimes for the very first time.

The train: The train was also added by the Romans, whom had quite the concern of their brides running away. The long trains on the wedding gowns were said to make their fleeing practically impossible for they were heave, long and everyone would know they were to marry that day.

Why use engagement rings plus a wedding band?

Ok, so when Joel proposed, he gave me beautiful engagement ring and with it came a wedding band. This made me wonder why brides typically wear two rings? Do we really need two super expensive rings?

As I suspected, it is all a tramp from jewelers that own this idea of style,luxury and “tradition”. The book says you do NOT need to wear or have both. The wedding ring is the important one. The engagement ring is typically just there to look pretty, flashy, and “stylish”. Apparently in the old days, the engagement ring was used as a sort of exchange of property, because you know, marrying a woman meant you owned her. Does this mean women would become slaves to man only for a ring?

I can not help feel Joel was ripped out of thousand of dollars for an engagement ring… but Oh well, it is pretty :)

Nothing that says “I love you” more than wasting a ridiculous amount of money on a blood diamond  that will mark a man’s “property”, right?

What’s with the white dress?

So I have been looking around at different styles of wedding gowns, I have seen some pretty amazing ones in light pink, ivory and even red or black. But everyone knows that a bride is expected to wear white, but why?

Findings:

So another disappointment.

I always thought this was because white represented purity, virginity, or innocence...But apparently before the 1840s, brides just wore any nice dress they had or could afford, that is UNTIL British Queen Victoria married in 1840 with white gown. 
She set a trend that still goes on today and is probably never going to die off. It is said there was no specific reason for that color, just that she liked it. 
After her wedding, brides started wanting to dress in white, (just like the queen) and the trend became popular because white was “cool” to begin with.
What made this color so cool? >>Well the fact that it was expensive to develop on gown fabrics and it was difficult to keep clean made it unaffordable to commoners. So for a long while, only the elite could have white gowns.

In conclusion, it was a trend set my materialistic brides that wanted to show that they could afford a dress just like the Queen’s.

The meaning of  purity, virginity and  innocence were attributed along the way.

Here is a rhyme printed in the Farmer’s Almanac (which was a big deal) in the mid 1800s after Queen Victoria’s wedding.

“Married in White, you have chosen right

Married in Grey, you will go far away

Married in Black, you will wish yourself back

Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead

Married in Green, ashamed to be seem

Married in Blue, you will always be true

Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl

Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow

Married in Brown, you will live in the town

Married in Pink, your spirit will sink

...Ok so red is out of the question for me.